Fist of the North Star

You are already dead (of boredom) 

This film is bad, monumentally bad. Not disappointingly bad, not so-bad-its-good, just plain bad. It is mind boggling how a film like this could come to be, let alone have it be deemed good enough to be released. This film is not so much a legend as it is an old joke that not a lot of people know, and who's punchline will only resonate with the people willing to do their homework on the source material. And with maybe 10 minutes spent on a google and a few youtube videos, you too can understand why this film may in fact be the first terrible western adaptation of a much loved Japanese I.P. Or you could stay here, whatever works.

Fist of the North Star was originally a manga series that ran from 1983 to 1988 in Shonen Jump (a weekly magazine that has been in print since 1968), written by Yoshiyuki Okamura and illustrated by Tetsuo Hara. To cut a long story short it follows Kenshiro, a martial artist trained in Hokuto Shinken, on his journeys through a post-apocalyptic wasteland of gangs, warlords and rival martial artists. Rather than just be a blend of Kung-Fu films and Mad Max (both of which were in fact inspirations for the style and setting), Fist of the North Star sets itself apart by being incredibly violent and full of 80's action man machismo. Kenshiro always ends an episode/chapter by being shirtless and making people explode using his bare hands. Hokto Shinken is the ancient art of using a person's pressure points to make their bodies self destruct, was that not clear?

Fist of the North Star is the 18th highest grossing media franchises in history, with two tv series, nine animated movies, spin off manga and books, and video games, with the latest coming out in March of this year. And in 1995 Tony Randel, whose biggest project until that point had been Hellbound: Hellraiser II, got to direct a live action adaptation. And, in what would seemingly set the template for all American adaptations of anime/manga, it gets so much wrong that it is physically painful. Not just in taking leaps from the source material, but the number of terrible filmmaking choices is just astounding.

From a cast that contains Melvin Van Peebles, Downtown Julie Brown, Dante Basco and Malcolm McDowell (for all of 3 minutes of actual screen time), to the leading man being British martial artist Gary Daniels and the main antagonist Shin being the Greco-Australian Costas Mandylor, the film is woefully miscast. The pacing is whiplash inducing, with moments of speed and action springing up after periods of mind numbing dullness. The sets are completely uninspired, rather they just try to do their best Bartertown impression and fail miserably to be anywhere near as interesting. The plot and characters are so completely removed from all but a few superficial similarities to the source material that it may as well not be an adaptation, the only thing it gets right is that Shin stole Kenshiro's wife (who despite a name change is actually played by a Japanese actress) and Kenshiro and Shin must fight to the death over her. And throughout the whole film, only one persons head explodes. And thats just not very good.

The plot isn't worth talking about, because you already know it, it is that generic and dull. This film is hacky, terrible, awful, crap. The only thing this film gets right about filmmaking is they remembered to take of the lens cap. And mores the pity.