Zardoz

The design is good, the plot is nonsensical
(Spoilers)

 What can you say about Zardoz? No really, what can you specifically say about Zardoz? It seems that everyone has at least some faint knowledge of this movie even if they can't pin down what it actually is. For most, myself included before I watched it, was that there was a giant stone head that flew around vomiting guns and Sean Connery wore a red nappy. Somehow, after watching the whole film, I know more but it all makes less sense than when I thought it was about a literal god head that flew around menacing James Bond whilst periodically hacking up an Uzi.

Zardoz follows Exterminator Zed, played by Sean Connery, who is a part of a cult worshiping the titular Zardoz in a post apocalyptic world. Zardoz preaches that “The penis is evil” and “The gun is good” and tells his Exterminators to kill the Brutals who try to live amongst the devastation. Zed eventually finds himself travelling inside Zardoz, shooting a man living inside the head who was its controller and discovers the Eternals, a race of psychic immortals who live inside the “the Vortex” and use the Brutals to grow wheat for their bread. After being experimented on and spending time as a servant, Zed begins to unravel the mysteries of the Eternals, Zardoz and the AI known as “The Tabernacle.”

If that sounds like a lot to take in, it's because it is a lot to take in. This film is full of ideas and references to all manner of subjects and philosophies. From what I counted, I saw references to:

• Religion
• Sexuality
• Environmentalism
• Existentialism
• The human condition
• Nihilism
• Eastern Philosophy
• The purpose of violence
• Meritocracy
• Capitalism
• Communism

The list seems to go on and on, but they're all explored in very shallow dives that don't lead to much insight but do show some actual inspiration that is more than surface level. The script isn't a mess so much as it over saturated with ideas.

But this film shines brightest when its visuals are examined closely. Shot by Geoffrey Unsworth, famous for his work on 2001: A Space Odyssey and Cabaret, and financed by 20^th Century Fox with a budget of $1.57 Million, the film is visually fascinating. Every frame seems to have something interesting to offer, especially because most of the frames have either some kind of nudity or giant post modern inflatable structures (sometimes both). The world inside The Vortex is bright and colourful and shot through with excellent contrasts between itself and the dark Outlands that surround it. It's just a shame that the actual plot and characters that live in these worlds are so bland.

This movie's greatest sin is that it's characters are all bland and the story so loose. It has all the ingredients of an esoteric Science Fiction masterpiece, but everything is undercooked. It's a slab of raw beef with some very nice garnishes, if you'll excuse the food metaphor. But at the same time it's so goddamn quirky and weird that I loved every second of it, so you should definitely take a ride inside the stone head and see what you make of it.