Five Things I learnt working in a Cinema

Silver linings of the Silver Screen

My time being at the front lines of the film industry has come to an end. I have hung up my ticket ripping hands for the last time and I gotta say, its been quite the ride. There have been soaring highs and crushing lows, and I haven't quite been able to stop analysing them in my head as I begin my new day job. So, here's Five things I learnt working in a cinema.

1.Fresh Popped Popcorn is better than life itself

Seriously, if the cinema you go to doesn't pop any of their corn fresh, leave. Most of time, the popcorn you eat has been cooked in a factory located somewhere in the midlands (probably, I never actually checked where we got ours), packed up in a huge plastic bag, shipped to us and then placed in a giant warmer shortly before we open. It tastes alright sure, but it never tastes as rich and crunchy as when it comes out of a real popper. Plus it'll have way less preservatives if that's something you worry about, aside from the obvious presence of salt. And for the vegan amongst you, most places pop it in coconut oil and uses non-dairy butter substitutes. Practically makes it a health food if you ask me.

And the sight of a machine, all aglow with lights, with fresh popcorn flying out the top of the hopper is one of the classic images that comes to mind when you think of a movie theatre. During a hard shift, with a queue all the way to the door, putting a fresh batch of kernels and then watching them go flying was a great way to get the crowds to lighten up a little. People tend to be happy to wait if they know a plate (or in this case bucket) of something warm and tasty is waiting for them at the end.

2.3-D is a gimmick that still gets people in seats

Ragging on 3-D is pretty much passé by now, we all decried it as a gimmick that added nothing to the movie experience and that it would be gone in a few years. But a few years have passed and it's still bloody here, so what's actually happened? In my opinion, 3-D has actually started to get pretty good and film makers are using better than they used to. Back when we had to rely on the red-cyan double exposure method (called Anaglyph 3-D, in case you wondering), we all suffered through eye strain and everything looking kinda purple and being directed by Robert Rodriguez.

But with the advent of the polarised method and IMAX, 3-D is suddenly a lot less finicky and restricting. The best uses of polarisation 3-D, in my opinion, are used to really maximise depth in a scene. Sandra Bullock waving her hands at you in Gravity should feel silly but when the depths of space behind her feels as if it's a gaping maw ready to snatch her away to her slow death at any second followed very quickly by you, you suddenly take it much more seriously. Plus, action movies look way cooler when the explosion jump out of the screen, and the public love it when explosions look cool.

3.People really need to clean up after themselves

Okay so this a very personal thing but I NEED to get this off my chest. If you have ever left all your trash on your chair or in your cupholder when the movie is over, someone has wished death on you and a plague upon your house. I have had to wade through the trash of nearly a hundred people and individual pick up every single half finished popcorn tub, Coke cup, chewed up gum wad and pistachio shell by myself. Multiple times. In a single day. I'm pretty sure I considered getting into black magic just so I could start actively hexing people more than once.

This is my personal appeal to you as a movie goer. Ushers are a very hard-working people and are the backbone of the cinema industry. They get everything ready for you to sit down and watch the film in comfort and cleanliness. And all they want in return is for you to take as much of your trash with you as you can when you leave. Sometimes you spill a drink or some popcorn and that's okay, we can clean that up afterwards. But if you just stand up and leave, they will hate you. And besides, some folks would leave maybe £10 worth of food and drink behind, and no cinema experience is complete without picking at the sweets and snacks you bought when you get home afterwards if you ask me. Oh, and I should mention that you can bring in outside food, just nothing that smells too strong. A pizza is a no, but some crisps and a drink is a-OK. But if you leave it, we should be allowed to pelt it at your head as you exit.

4.Marvel movies have changed the way people leave the theatre

Ever since Nick Fury showed up at the end of Iron Man, the post credit sequence has been hammered deep into modern culture. So much so that Marvel, in an attempt to one up themselves, have started to put TWO post credit scenes in almost every single movie they've made. Ralph breaks the Internet rick-rolls anyone who stayed until the end (which stops being funny after the third time you see it in my experience). It's become practically de rigueur to include at least something before the credits wrap up at this point, which means people get very annoyed when you don't.

Whilst you could argue that watching all the credits is a good way to pay respect to all the folks who worked on the picture, most people get up and leave as soon as the credits roll because they aren't very exciting. But now they stay on the off chance that they'll get to see something else, even if it's only a few seconds of something else. I saw a group of friends sit through the credits of Aquaman quite literally at the edge of their seats, looking up at the screen with bated breath hoping to see anything once the credit scroll had ended. When nothing appeared, their disappointment was audible and I had to make sure my amusement wasn't.

5.Film lovers come in all shapes, sizes and ages

Working in any customer service role is a guaranteed way to see a vertical slice of the public. Cinema's are no different, but sometimes you get to meet people who are truly in love with film. And you can never tell who it's gonna be. Sometimes it'll be obvious based on the fan shirts or jacket pins, but there is always something deeper. I've met a Stormtrooper from Rise of Skywalker as he walked in to go and hopefully spot himself on screen. I met a married couple who's first date was to see Pet Sematary back in 1989, and were going to see the 2019 remake. Hopefully the remake didn't do any damage to their relationship.

I'm guilty of having preconceptions about film lovers/buffs, even though I count myself amongst them. But sometimes they don't come walking in with a beret and an Eraserhead shirt, sometimes they come in looking completely nondescript and it's only the glint of excitement in their eyes when you rip their ticket that gives them away. And sometimes they might not know a damn thing about film theory, but they love movies with such a passion that they don't need it. Film has been called a universal language, capable of reaching anyone on earth and being truly understood. And I can tell you from experience that truer words have never been spoken.